What if I can't be funny?

So I'm feeling the pressure. Not only is a post needed, but "Wilde" says it has to be funny. What if I can't deliver?

I hope this doesn't disappoint, but here are seven funny stories/things about me, in the form of the letters in my name.

K-- I have never been kissed. It's true. It's worse than the movie, she was only 25 I think. But I have never worn gaucho pants, so I'm a little better than her. I'm not sad about it though. Don't get me wrong, I could go for some make-out action, but my emotional state won't allow for random NCMO (non-committal-make-out) and I get too attached. It's got to mean something! Plus, I only meet boys at work and strangely, Beehive frowns on making out in the foyer with members. Although, it's a fact that they all want me.
I do have one funny story about it, for all of my Snow homies to remember: I wanted to be a true badger. I wasn't dating anyone. I couldn't imagine asking any of the boys I was mildly interested in if they wanted to go lock lips underneath the bell tower. Luckily for me, our home teachers came around. I don't remember both of their names, but I think one was Dan. They were both just graduated pre-missionaries from my ward, both nice guys. And Dan wanted to be a true badger also. I considered it. Seriously. But then, one of the girls from upstairs told me how she had kissed him once and wanted to just suck on a washcloth for the rest of the night. That wasn't a good sign. So I decided that being a true badger wasn't worth the frisbee, and watched a movie instead.

A-- In sixth grade, I won an award for being in choir for the longest time. It was very prestigious. I was "lucky" enough to be in a 3/4 split class when I was in third grade, and because they wanted it to be fair for those in the class with the older students, I was allowed to join choir one year early. I became a star; my grandma told me so, right Jenn? From then on, the most I remember about elementary school choir is always competing with Kristen Safford for all of the solos and attention. And those awesome denim vests with the silver eagles on the back. "Silver Hills, is the school we love. Silver Hills, flying high above is the eagle free, we all agree, the emblem of Silver Hills. . . .Is the BEST! Any where you go in the WEST, one thing I know as the years go by, I know that I will be proud I went to SILVER HILLS!!" And am I ever.

T-- I'm very tricky. I like to play jokes (although I'm not very good at telling them) and I like to scare people, but I don't like being scared so I try not to dish out what I can't handle. But, when it comes to tricks, OAKCREST is a great place to do them. From pouring cold water on people in the shower, to throwing water on them while they are on the toilet and can't defend themselves (one of my faves), the possibilities aren't only limited to the bathroom. However, one of the best tricks I did was in the bathroom. In 2004, I was head cook and one day during an after-meal singing session in the lodge, I pretended to be one of the campers in a stall and called her counselor to come and help. We set up the video camera on a shelf to record the results. Just so you know, I am aware that you aren't allowed to film or photograph in a bathroom because of legal reasons, but we made sure that I was the only one in there, making everyone go in the other restroom. Pre-cautions were made, don't worry. Anyway, long story short, I pretended that I was having difficulties having a, ahem, bowel movement, and didn't know what to do. I made noises, she offered comforting words, and in the end, when she offered to pray with me (I was crying in pain, mind you) I opened the door and we all had a good laugh. It may not sound very special right now, but if you saw the video, you would laugh, too.

H-- I have naturally curly hair. It's almost uncontrollable. It's very big. I have often been called lion hair. I have had numerous things put in my hair without my knowledge, from pens (8 at one time) to film containers to pieces of paper, but most recently it was drool from my sister Tracie. She was sitting on the arm of the chair above me playing with my hair when something outrageously funny came on tv that made her laugh so hard she dribbled in my hair. I only knew because she about peed her pants in a spontaneous fit of laughter. For the record, I didn't get mad until she wouldn't clean it up. Then I had to go wash my hair. I think I actually shampooed twice.

R-- I love the rain. I do. I love the smell, the sound, the clean air afterward. However, sometimes I fall. And in the rain, it's often slippery. When I was in ninth grade, my friend Jenn and I were running from the seminary building to the school in a torrential downpour. It was good times, and we had built up some speed. Up ahead, there was a line of prissy girls all croweded under one dinky umbrella, so plans were mentally made to go around them. Jenn cleared the princesses without incident, but I had obviously chosen the wrong side to pass on. I slipped in the muddy grass and went down hard. I had mud all up my side and in my hair (add that to the above list). We all laughed, as we usually do when I fall in public, and I walked in humiliation through the halls of a typical junior high to the office where I called my mom to come pick me up.

I-- Is this a dumb idea? Um. . . I really like ice cream.

N-- I love New York. I've only been there once, and it was only for a day, but it's fabulous. When I was on my way to England last summer (I can't believe it's already been a whole year!) I stopped in NY to spend the night. It was a red eye flight from SLC, so I got there early in the morning. I took a nap in my hotel and then went into the city. . .by myself. It was a lot of fun, although I didn't eat or drink anything all day because I didn't know where to go or what to do, so I just kept walking. I took a lot of pictures and ended the night at a play of Wicked, where I had to throw up a minute into the second act because I hadn't drank anything all day and had developed a migraine. Then I took my first cab ride back to my hotel and couldn't understand anything my cab driver told me. At one point he was trying to speak to me in spanish, and that was just not going to work. Although I speak spanish (sometimes), I couldn't understand him and he wasn't understanding me. But in typical hispanic form, he told me my spanish was great. They're so nice.

Well. That took a long time and I don't blame you if you didn't read it all. Word to your mother.