Oh. My. Heck.

Ok. So I'm a little wary sharing my newest discovery with you because I wish that I was as witty as this person and am jealous of her hilarity. I don't know if that is a word. I have recently been clued into THE funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Like, laugh out loud at work funny. I'm going to put a link on my blog, but for those who can't wait for that, check out
http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com
I dare you to tell me it's not spit-out-your-water and tell-all-your-friends funny.
This post was my first introduction to Tamn. (Read her profile first).

Sisters. . . . Sisters. . . .yada yada yada yada Sisters. . .

Now do you have that song in your head? Sorry. Last night I was laying in bed at 9:18 (I'm so lame this semester) (but it's not like I'd be doing anything exciting) and I thought of this random story about me and Laura and how mean I have been to her. One time she was chewing this ENORMOUS wad of gum and it made me sick. And when I asked her to spit some of it out, she refused and it made me mad. I had anger management problems back then. YES, just back then. So, in my anger, and after her numerous refusals, I pulled the trash from under the sink, grabbed her and forced her head down over the garbage, holding her there and forcing her to half it. After that, she had to half what was left until it was mostly gone. She was so mad by the time we were done. I'm such a drill sergeant. The next story I will share is not one I'm proud of. One bright sunny day we were messing around and I tackled her on the front hill, at the bottom. I held her down and was trying to do that trick that boys are so good at where they spit and then suck it back in. . . Well, I'm a girl and can't do that. So my spit slowly went down and landed on her forehead. To make it worse and more torturous, I continued to hold her down while it rolled across her head. She was screaming and swore at me. I was even disgusted, but for some reason, still found it funny. I knew I was in trouble, though. I got ready to take off up the stairs and made it up before her, only because she had to get up and wipe off the spit. I opened the door and then she got to me. . . she kicked me in the crotch and said, "I hope you can't have kids." I took it without getting mad, I think, because I knew that I had just gone over the top. I still feel bad about that. Still funny, though. But I couldn't get too mad when Tracie drooled in my hair a couple months ago.
I hope I'm nicer now. I would love to hear any stories you may have. . .

Why I Don't Sing in the Ward Choir

So our ward choir is very, um, special. There are about five people that show up for practice, and maybe fifteen that come and sing when they do a number in church. Today, I had to take Tracie up (she's the pianist. . .lucky girl) early and got suckered into singing with them. When we got up to sing after stirring talks on boy scouting, (they weren't really that bad) I was ready to jam. We got through the first two verses of "The Spirit of God" and I looked over at Tracie (I was right next to the piano) and we shared a look. And that was it. We both started laughing and it went downhill from there. I could not sing. She was able to keep playing like a pro, but her shoulders were dancing. I was crying. I never cry when I laugh. It was a mess. I had to just stare at my book and giggle. Every once in a while I would glance up and see people laughing at me, and that would set me off again. I think I contributed to the last two lines in the final chorus, but it wasn't pretty. Good old mom, she carried the alto line all by herself after I was debilitated.
After sacrament meeting, we had to hear all the comments and we wished there was a better reason that we could offer for the laughing fit, but there wasn't. We just started laughing. It was awesome.

What's More American Than. . . .

So Jack Johnson made an appearance here in the SLC. Tracie went with her friend Carlee and I thought about joining them but decided I'd rather go shopping. When I went to pick her up, craziness ensued with mistaken directions, crazy driving, and some retard spitting a logey on my windshield, probably because he was drunk and stupid. Or just stupid. Luckily, I didn't see him do it or I would have probably caused some trouble. I'm so scary. Anyway, on the way home, I was irritated at the lack of communication that we had experienced and was sounding like my dad in lecture mode. I don't know how we got on the topic, but when I dropped Carlee off at her house, I made some comment about her being an upstanding citizen since she is the upcoming junior class president at Cyprus High (go pirates! snicker snicker) and her having a huge flag pole in her front yard.
Anyway, so Tracie and I decided we needed some late night nourishment and headed over to the excessive display of fast food that is 3500 south and 5600 west, and there was construction at the intersection. We finally maneuvered our way to McDonalds (there was some creative driving on my part) and were placing our order. The girl who took it was having a hard time understanding me, as when I asked if the 10 piece chicken nuggets was the smallest order they had. "Yes" she replied. then I found it on the menu. "Ok, I'll have the six piece chicken nugget" "Ok". So Tracie and I had a good laugh about the non-communitative issues with fast food places around these parts lately. It was an innocent enough convo, because neither of us have any hard feelings on the subject, except when they get my order wrong and I've already driven away.
I think the main point I want to make on this post happened a couple of days later when I watched this great movie I rented from the Blockbuster. I saw a preview for it in the theater a while back and made a mental note that I wanted to see it. It's a Mexican film called "Under the Moon" or "La Misma Luna". The story is about a nine year-old boy who crosses the border to try and find his mom in LA after his grandmother and guardian passes away. It's beautifully told and the boy actor was phenomenal. It is a story about immigration without the politics. The only negative lines in the story are heard on a mexican radio station in LA about immigration policies. There is one part where "La Migra" or immigration raids a group working in Texas and it negatively portrays the border control, who I don't think even participates in work raids.
Anyway, since my mission, I have a tender spot in my heart for the hispanic people. I think that regardless of your immigration opinions, this is a beautifully told story about the love between a mother and a son and the push for a better life.
Hermana Wilde, te gustaria especialmente este pelicula. Te quiero amigita!

I Really Really Really Love Bear Lake.

I do. A lot. We have been going to Bear Lake for a week out of the summer all of my life. My mom always went with her family and their ward, but now it's just my mom's family that goes. There is one day every year that my mom would spend hours on the phone in the morning trying to get through to reserve the camp site at Rendesvouz Beach on the south end of the lake. It would be a stress filled morning until she got through and then there was joy and jubilation that filled the house. Until a few years ago when they got more stupid and she would have to call two times because she had to schedule only a few days at a time. This year we thought we would have to move campsites mid-week (because the people who do the scheduling are in dire need of assistance in organization) but luckily the week before my mom called to schedule for next year and the bright young man helping her changed our reservation to the same place all week. Why couldn't they do that in the first place? Who knows.
Anyway, I have been dying for a vacation, so this came at the perfect time. Tracie and I drove up on Tuesday (after watching my dad attack the camper cutting off up to two inches off each side of the underpart so it would fit in his nice new truck) (let's not talk about the camper. It's a piece.) and were the first ones there. Mom's sister Evelyn and her husband Bert and their two grandkids joined us later and one of the funniest things I had ever heard commenced. Tyra (10), Eliana (5), Tracie and I were sitting in the pavilion. Elaina had been "unloading" the van, bringing all sorts of random things over. ("These are Grandma's red sandals that she wears when she gets out of bed and it's still blue time outside." "What's blue time, Elaina?" "You know, when the sun isn't out yet and it's all blue outside." "Oh, right. Of course.") So we're basking in all of Bear Lake's glory when we hear this "Oh shit! I forgot my skittles!" and Elaina ran off to the van. Tracie and I were dying and Tyra says, "I forgot to tell you. She swears a lot." It was so funny, because it was said with all the distress of having forgotten her swimming suit at home. Good times.
Mom and Dad showed up later, and then Alan, April and the kids came up that night. All of mom's sisters were there with some of their kids and then her brother and his wife came up on Thursday.
Alan had borrowed some wave runners from a friend (who just lends those out?!) and we took them out for the first time on wednesday. Oh wowee. Those are some good times! The water was absolutely gorgeous until we were about done that day, when it started to get cooler and choppy, but riding the waves on those guys are so fun! I didn't throw myself off, which was surprising to us all, and we didn't have any problems. It was a great addition to the vacay.
I left on Thursday night with Dad and Lucy (love her but she's so annoying when we are camping) because the boys were going hunting and I had a wedding the next day.
Overall, it was the perfect vacation. Lots of sun with minimal sunburn (I was faithful with the sunscreen), not too hot but the water wasn't too cold, good food, great company and almost unlimited access to my babies. Oh yeah. I did throw up outside in the middle of the night on the first day because I'd had a headache and ended up peeing my pants (rock on, thanks for the awesome bladder, mom) but don't worry, I didn't let it ruin my trip. It's all about the stories, right?
Until next year, Bear Lake!

Kim and Ted's Excellent Adventure

I feel kind of silly posting this because it was so long ago, but on August 7, 2008, Erik Simon Paul married Kamilyn Andrew in the Logan temple.

It was all very exciting. Tracie, Victoria and I all drove up with Erik that morning because we decided it would be more time efficient to take their "couple" pictures before the actual ceremony, leaving us more time to meander over to Maddox in Perry, outside of Brigham city. The pictures went really well, and I'm glad I was able to do it! They are so funny, and they were so excited and happy that the pictures really turned out great. I love taking pictures at the Logan temple because they have such a different feel to them. The building itself is so gorgeous and the stone is beautiful. It was a hot day, but there was a chance for rain, so we were glad that it held off until later!
The ceremony was beautiful, and I'm so excited for my cute little (big) brother. He really has lucked out, because Kami is fantastic. She has been raised by a great family and has such a fun personality. We have a lot of fun with her and I'm glad she's my new (and last) sister. Erik is pretty great also, definitely one of the funniest kids I know. He always makes me laugh and has such a sensative soul. He and Kami have really compatible personalities and are going to do so well together!
After the ceremony and the family pictures (funnily enough, one of the hardest ones I've done. . .who knows why?) we all went to The Lodge at Maddox and enjoyed a very low-key luncheon for close friends and family. I'm so glad they decided not to have a reception, because the day was perfect! That won't stop me from having one, though. The food was delicious and the company was great, but I think one of the best parts was that Kami and Erik had told our dads that they had to fight over who was conducting. They compromised and both decided to do it together. It was funny because they did it like a variety show:
Kim: "Hey, Ted, I guess we better get this party started. . ."
Ted: "Hey, Kim, that sounds like a fine idea. . ."
and so on. Funny guys. They are great dads and they both looked so sharp. The moms, mine (Jeanette) and Kaylene, were happy to sit back and relax, enjoying the day with the rest of us.
Erik and Kami stayed away from most traditional things like the bouquet and garter toss, but did cut a cake. They were very nice to each other and the day ended blissfully. Good word usage, huh.

In the end, it's nice that all of the hullabaloo is over, but I am going to be honest with you. The saddest part about it is that we won't have any obvious excuse to hang out with Kami's family anymore. Laura and I have become blogging friends with Rachel and Heidi, and let me just tell you that if you think they are funny in writing, spend some actual time with them. We have good times. So, Rach and Heidi, it's been real. I'm glad that we are attached through Kami for eternity (getting creepy, right?). So, don't forget to keep in touch when you come down for games or imax movies, and we'll hang out. Holla!


(l to r) top: Laura, me, Kami, Tracie, April. Bottom: Heidi, Rachel

Get a new post up, already!

Ok, ok. So, things have been pretty crazy lately, so in the near future you should see a few new posts. Here is a little teaser for you:

*Kim and Ted's Excellent Adventure. . . highlights of Erik and Kami's wedding
*Bear Lake, Baby!. . . . I think because "bear" is spanish for "this is such a fun place to be."
*What's more American than. . . . you'll have to wait and see!

For The Boy.

Well, I've decided to be more social. Partly at the insistance of my Dad, who told me that Tracie is not "society". Sorry, Trace. I hope we can still be friends. So, when a rockin' member here at the credit union said there was a boy she wanted to set me up with, I said ok. Then I went into the bathroom and cried. Just kidding. I gave her my email and blog address so he could check it out, decide if there was interest, and then contact me in a slightly easier way. So, I thought, maybe I'd give him a post that is a crash-course on Kat. Because do we really think he'll read all of my posts? I mean, he should because I'm so witty, but honestly? So here we go.

My name is Kathrin Biph Paul. I go by Kat, Biph, Biphee, Bipher, Bipheda, Bipheggio, Bipherina, and Superstar. I got my nickname "Biph" when I was at Snow College, when my friends Bon and Julie decided I needed one. It was Biph or Bubby, and I'm glad the former won out. I later worked at an LDS girls camp called Oakcrest (aka The Best Place In The Universe) for three years, where "Biph" became a natural addition to my name. I actually think there are more people on this earth that know me as Biph rather than Kathrin. Nothing like being in a public place and hearing "BIPH" shrieked out across the room. Really, it's great.

I will be 29 on May 29, 2009. Isn't that nutty? But, I will have graduated twenty-one days before from the University of Utah with my Bachelors in English teaching and license to make the big bucks, so all of the blood, sweat, tears and paper writing will have all been worth it. Because the paper-writing process is really sweaty.

I like my family a lot. I have two brothers, two sisters, and three in-laws who are really fun. And I have two nieces and a nephew who I like probably too much. I always spoil them because I'm the Aunt and that's my job, right? I like to take pictures of them because they are pretty. It's a good thing they look like their mom.

Speaking of pictures, I like to take them. I have my own business (I just put a link at the bottom of the page) and I love doing weddings when I have time. Someday I will have a house with a big beautiful yard that is fully landscaped to supply all of my outdoor shooting needs. I'm excited for that day. Oh, and I'm going to have a barn because for some reason I've always wanted one.

I love music, books, traveling, the beach, roller coasters, sunsets, movies, shoes, rain, thunder storms, flying, driving fast, Wanda the Honda, Cafe Rio, porch swings, mountains, bear lake, the color orange, lavender, Autumn, laughing, busting a move, and a lot of other things.

Last but not least, and at the risk of sounding "churcheesy," I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love feeling the Spirit in my life. I love studying the Book of Mormon. I have gone through phases in my life where I've just gone through the motions, and I can tell you right now that there is no better happiness than when I am close to my Heavenly Father. I served a mission to Fresno, California, and there is nothing greater than pure service. It's impossible to replicate in the real world, but the joy one feels in selfless work is still attainable. A lot harder, for sure, but still possible.

And, that's pretty much it. I think. I have a really great life. I am surrounded by a fantastic family, great friends and opportunities to reach my goals. So, Mr. Boy, if you're interested, send me an email. Wendy seems to think we'd have good times. For any of you other readers, If you know someone who could rock my world, send them my way. If not, how about we just hang out? You let me know.

Oh Wow. Wowee. Wowzers.

People, my friends, are ca-razy. People like myself, who love to wake up at 3:00 am the day after Thanksgiving to wait, nay, be first in line at the local Target (they usually have the best stuff) to run through the doors three hours later and get a $5 movie. One time I did get a camera. Or people who will go hunting, sitting in a tree stand for five hours with nothing but their animal calls to keep them company, even when they didn't draw out for a tag that year. Or, as was the case on Friday, people who get in line at 6:00 am to get a wristband three hours later (thanks Lin, you rock!) so that we can be in group #2, yes, two, to get the long anticipated final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn, the next morning at 12:01 am.
But wasn't it ROCKIN'? We had a good time. I went with a bunch of girls from work to the South Town Barnes & Noble Breaking Dawn party, and boy, are there a lot more people crazier than us. Believe it. We met a few groupies at the Johnny Carinos while we were eating dinner, groups of ladies (and often one token man, the sensitive one who really just wanted extra action from his Edward-loving woman) dressed in their nicest "bridmaid" gowns. Because, don't you know? That was the theme. I wish I had gotten the memo. I have some killer late nineties dresses that haven't seen a party since, well, the late nineties. That was nothing, though, compared to what we found at the store.
After seeing all of the crazed pre-teen, tweener, angst-driven adolescents running wild through the stores, flirting with the one token man in the group (she was so cool, right, Nat?) and a lot of screaming and "oh my gosh, what if, like, Edward, like was real? I would so totally die. I mean, I know he's hot in the book, but I bet he's like, probably eight times hotter in real life." and "remember how I'm so much cuter than Bella? I'm blond, you know, and so totally hot. I wanted to show all of my hotness to you all, so I decided to not wear any clothes that fit. And, I never fall down." [sorry this is probably the longest sentence in the world but just hang in there I'm drawing it to a close], I almost thought I was way beyond crazy for wanting to spend my entire career teaching them in junior high. But then, I was reminded, "you know, Kathrin, I like you and it's fun to hang out with you, but I'm glad I don't live with you." I don't know if some of you know this, but I can be a little loud. I tried to tell that person that I'm really not like this all the time, just when I haven't been in public for a while. You should see me at school. Really, I don't talk. Unless I raise my hand to say something exceedingly intellectual. Sometimes I don't even raise my hand, but I don't ever do the Mary Murphey (from So You Think You Can Dance [and yes I do]) scream on campus. All I'm saying is I dig these crazy juveniles.
I'm digressing.
Anyway. So there were a lot of people there. Really a lot of people. Like, I'm no longer breathing fresh air a lot of people. But then, when I held that precious book in my hands outside on the curb (Thanks, Danielle) and I felt the excitement and venom-like power flow through my veins, I knew it was all worth it. Bella, Edward, Jacob and the gang were all alive once again and I would finally be able to put my curiosity to rest. It would be over soon. I don't know if I will like the way it ends, but I will no longer have to wonder. And I don't. Because I am currently on page 470 and it's all I thought it would be. Plus some red-hot passion that really got my blood a-boilin'. So, good ole' Steph has done it again. She has great wit and a talent for making me hate Bella for being so retarded sometimes (I wouldn't complain if Alice was planning and paying for my lavish wedding) and make me roll my eyes at how CHEESY our boy Edward is, and how I think I could really go for some hot make-out with Jacob. Who am I kidding? We all know I'd go for some hot make-out with anyone. Not anyone, I guess. I mean, I totally, like, would never even make out with someone as gross as Mike Newton. I mean, oh my gosh. He is like totally named after a cake, not a cookie. And he's, like, totally lame, and like, I bet he's so way stinky and I can't believe that he even liked that girl Jessica, because she's so crazy, and I'm, like, totally hotter than she is. . . .
Thanks for the party, girls!


This is how excited Nat and I were to be done with work and on our way.

The gang at dinner. (L to R) Kaitlyn, Lin, Jenn, Nat, Chelsea, Courtney, Ashley, Danielle, Erin

Oh, bff. Precious.

We hung out on the lawn (after we hung out at Target) before the show started. I was going to fix all the red eye, but then I thought it would look better if you all looked like you were newborn vampires. So cool.

They only have one entrance door, so there was usually a short little line to get into the hot sauna that was the store. Inside, this is a picture of the group answering questions on the trivia sheet with the books to back up their answers.

I told these two ladies that if I would have dressed up, I would have wanted to be as cool as they were. What you can't see is the amazing cowboy boots the vision in teal was wearing over mustard-colored leggins. So, so cool. And I asked this girl (who later said she had a lot more people ask to take her picture so I'm not the only weird one out there) how long it took to curl her hair, and she said, "I dunno, like, one and a half movies?" It was worth it, babe. Love those ringlets.


Ah, the insanity.

My Friend April

So I have this friend named April Guadalupe de Santiago Wilde, and these are a few strange habits she has.
-April likes dogs. She likes dogs so much that she will often have numerous dogs on her bed without even knowing it. Maybe that is because they are camouflaged by her dog bedspread. She also has dog curtains, rugs, socks, wall hangings, and poop on her backyard lawn. She gets $.25 for each pile of poop she scoops, but that's not enough to tempt her. She makes her dogs scoop their own poop because they are that smart.
-April likes to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Really, nobody knows what she says. She does it to dogs, too, but they don't get it. They just want to lick her face, and who likes that? Besides April.
-April has no regard for personal space. She will often stand directly in front of you and speak to you, usually in spanish because that is the language of love. And Corona. That's beer, which I think April likes. She washes her hair in it because
-April likes to dye her hair. So much that once it was yellow like the sun. And so, to condition and make it shiny and supple, she washes it with cheap liquor.
-April thinks everyone's name should be April. She has a best friend named April and they are both very pretty people, so they think that if everybody changed their name to April, there would be a lot more pretty people in the world. She is trying to convince her other best friend Julia-April that she should name her daughter April-Biph. And that she should reverse the names around the hyphen to April-Julia. Now, April does concede that most people are pretty enough to BE April's already, but by simply adding those five letters would really increase their quality of life.
-Lastly, April is nice. Even with her dog, whispering and name obsessions. And she has rockin' bathroom stories. And you know how I love my bathroom stories.

Why I don't always like the U

I don't know how carefully they screen their professors. I just spent my summer semester with a professor who was probably, oh, 80 years old and looked just like Eric's guardian on "The Little Mermaid"

No joke. Minus the ponytail, but his hair was probably long enough.

Anyway, he was a very knowledgable man, but he should not have taught the course he did. He was teaching World History from 1510-present day, and he didn't do that. He taught things he was interested in, which included mostly Asia, Africa and Latin America. We spent one day on Napoleon. We got as far as MAYBE 1875. It was ridiculous. I have never had a more difficult time taking notes in class, because he was so random and would jump from topic to topic. He rarely gave dates, so I had to figure out what time period he was talking about. He would write a few terms on the board, but wouldn't follow any sort of linear progression. I started asking clarifying questions, and was one of two people, I think, who ever raised their hand. It wasn't very conducive to questioning and sharing. Oh, and he often sat down to lecture. I think he asked once "is it ok if I sit?" but what are we supposed to say? Anyway. He also didn't know which edition of the book we were using, he never referenced or talked about the book and when I used information from the book in my midterm, he marked it incorrect (he later fixed it) because he didn't know what was IN the book.

Bottom line: I didn't learn much. I feel like I wasted my time and my money and didn't get the education that the U was supposed to provide to me as a student. That's about it.